The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/09/14
Beautifully written with a strong message.

God bless~
10/13/14
Oh, this is so beautifully written. Amazing imagery and raw feelings. You brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for sharing!
10/13/14
I love your raw honesty, and how you showed yourself to us through with poetry. My heart was gripped and torn as I recognized myself in some of your descriptions.
This excellent poem reveals raw emotion and a wonderful hope. Well done!
That's a really powerful poem Kat. I like the way you're looking back in hindsight at that 8-year-old self and wishing you could tell her what you now know. I especially liked the warfare imagery (steels herself for the daily assault, shrapnel, gunfire, ceasefire, bayonet). That painted a great word picture. A few of the lines could be tweaked a little in revision (e.g. there was a verse where you mentioned 'dress them up' and 'dressed' in two consecutive lines and you could maybe think of a different word or phrase for one of those). But that's just a minor comment. Really well done at conveying a powerful message.
Profound message.

'No longer will others’ words define her worth'- the place we all need to come to.
Very emotional and well written.
Thanks for sharing
10/16/14
How well you have painted a picture of a hurting eight-year old who because she could not see the bright future ahead of her suffered needlessly through the assaults of insensitive others. Your poem covers a history of torment but the present with love.
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