The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
09/12/14
Well written this deeply emotional story. Good message at the conclusion.

God bless~
This is really powerful. It is so easy to fall into the trap Crip fell into, and your message is so very true. Thanks for sharing x
09/17/14
The enemy will always try to tell us that the grass is greener on the other side. We always need to be on guard.

Good way to get your point across by using an animal to touch our emotions. I want to stay within the Master's protection.

Blessings, LaVonne
Ohmigaaaah...how sad!! O.O But how powerful. What a message. That was very striking. I found it the type of story that sticks in my brain...I won't soon forget the impact of the emotion and the way you drew the parallel between the story and Christian life. I appreciate stories that can do that.

VERY well liked by this reader.
This story is told by a third party.

Added interest could have been had by the main character (animal) speaking his thoughts: maybe questioning why he was not allowed to go outside, stating his self confidence in being able to defend himself, etc.

Also at three weeks he might have talked about being bottle fed and his thankfulness for his master's kindness.

Just something to think about. What do you think?