The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow, beautifully written. At first I thought it was a person, then as I kept reading it began to sound like Israel. Great piece of writing!
Way to go!


If I didn't read the previous comment I would have been surprised also. Good hook, It kept me intrigued.

Keep on topic! Great story and very relevant today, but you barely touched on topic.

This is great otherwise.
Okay, first of all let me say this: Congratulations on crafting a brilliant entry!
This was by far an outstanding piece of work, powerfully executed in content, delivery and overwhelmingly memorable!

I thought this might be one of the most unique and well thought out entries I've seen in quite some time!

I pray this gets significant attention by the judges!

Well done! Brilliant and magnificent!

God bless~
Absolutely perfect! Gripping, harrowing and heart grabbing. I pray the judges love it too!
Tremendous characterization!
After realizing just a bit before you named Israel and then reading your entry again I was wowed by your brilliant creativity in developing this MC/nation.
Fabulous, fabulous,
and fabulous!
Wow, that was an incredible use of the topic. Quite timely as well.

If I might offer a tiny bit of red ink, perhaps shorter paragraphs might allow the reader a mental breath, since your prose is full of thoughts to ponder. (Maybe just me though!)

Anyway, that was wonderfully done. I liked how you presented the weary yet hopeful tone of the ending.
Congratulations Terry on an intriguing story!
Congratulations on ranking 3rd in your level and 23 overall! The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
Wow, this is a powerful piece, especially given the events going on in the world. The only red ink I have is I noticed you used the word very a lot. I'd encourage you to avoid using it so much. It tends to have the opposite effect if overused. You did a nice job of writing on topic and made some great points.
I have to say this piece is one that was even more powerful on the second reading. The first time through, I didn't see your subtle hints, but delighted in them on the second reading. It doesn't happen often enough, but when I don't see the twist coming, it delights me and your story delighted me.

God bless~
I felt that this unfolded at just the right pace.I loved it from beginning to end. Congratulations