The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
08/08/14
That was a rousing story that kept me interested all the way through. Well done, glad she was safe!

God bless~
Nice story. I like it. Well written. I suppose the man was supposed to be a bad guy? Or was he just an unlucky man trying to keep the little girl from crossing the street?
08/09/14
Very interesting story. You kept me curious all the way through as to what would happen next.

I did wonder why the man said "Hey you, stop", if he was in pain. Did he get hit by the car? If he was in a lot of pain, would he have said something different?
This could be a good start to a longer story to fill in all the blanks. Blessings, LaVonne
I was curious throughout the story. I thought the little girl was going to get hit at first. It held my interest, but I agree with LaVonne that if he got hit, the man probably wouldn't say anything. However, I enjoyed the story.
08/12/14
Good job.

I was a little confused about the roll of the man in the story.

It seemed to me that you left him hanging.

Was he a good guy, bad guy?

Just a thought. Don't leave the readers scratching their heads.

Hope it helps.


God bless.
08/12/14
Good job.

I was a little confused about the roll of the man in the story.

It seemed to me that you left him hanging.

Was he a good guy, bad guy?

Just a thought. Don't leave the readers scratching their heads.

Hope it helps.


God bless.