The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/02/14
Interesting piece, with thought provoking depictions. Well done!

God bless~
08/02/14
I enjoyed this lovely story! Time really does have a way of changing us!

Most people find stories easier to read when there is a space between the paragraphs. It's just a little thing, but it might be helpful. :)

I love the phrase the salt and pepper years. Great story!
08/04/14
Some wonderful thoughts. Thanks for your insight into the aging process!


I would take some time and go to the Faithwriters' grammar tips area. I found it to be very helpful.

I agree with the other review, try to break up the paragraphs.

Good job. God bless.
It was probably just me but I had a difficult time keeping track of the characters.

This is going to be a re-read for me.

As I went back I also noted a lot of descriptions that slowed getting the story out.

All are needed in the right progression. Descriptions can be scattered along to add detail to characters and scenes as needed.
I enjoyed this. I can definitely relate too as I see the difference in my husband over the years.