The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 414 times
Member Comments
Ha. Had me smiling as I read. That's a rule I've been trying to follow myself (no salt or pepper till I taste)!
Sweet story! I loved the theme and the message.
Nicely done.

God bless~
I often wondered why people put salt or pepper on their food before tasting it first. I enjoyed your story. Blessings, LaVonne
My sister needs to read this. She is a salt freak. Very nice story.
The conversation or exchange of words were very much to the point. What the MC revealed was what gave the information and held it all together.

Each short conversation sentence carried its own weight.

I liked your format or structure of your story.
Good take on the topic. I enjoyed the story.

Great job.

I suggest you read up on the use of commas and semi-colons. I noticed a few places that needed editing. Hope this helps.
This is a sweet story. I especially liked how you pulled the reader right into Tommy's mind. His inner thoughts delighted me and felt so realistic.

In the opening, you might have been able to introduce the conflict sooner with something like: When Timmy heard Grandma call him for dinner, he instantly began arguing with himself. Grandma's dinners are so bland, but if I don't get right to the table, I'll be in big trouble.
That isn't perfect, but I hope it shows what I mean.

Also watch out for incomplete sentences like Food without salt and pepper. That's just a clause, but if you connected it to the next line then it would be complete.

You do a great job of writing on what I thought was a difficult topic. You also did an outstanding job of developing the characters. Having your MC pray, not for blessing the food, but for God's help in eating, made me laugh. It is so typical of what a kid would do. I loved it. You focused on him throughout and in doing so brought him to life. The ending was splendid. The fact that he thought of thanking Grandma on his own as opposed to being told just enhances this delightful character even more and was the perfect way to end the story. There is also an intense, yet subtle, underlying message; an allegory that shows even when we want to do it our way, Jesus is always nearby much like the salt and pepper. Sometimes we think we know best without tasting, yet Jesus is ever-present waiting for us. Great job.