The Official Writing Challenge
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The dialogue drew me in amd kept me reading. I loved the tone, and the last two lines are so powerful!
Powerful story. Well done.
I enjoyed the pace of this story and the message conveyed. Well done.
Great story! Thanks for sharing it. Only found one omission in the sentence: How about seeing your name Gods book of life?" (the word 'in' missing).
Poignant, touching and memorable. Well done and well written.

God bless~
This is a sweet story. You did a nice job of developing the characters . Loved the wife's attitude. This week in Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards, she talks about balancing showing and telling. You actually do a pretty good job of doing that. Personally, I'd like to see a tad more showing and possibly tightening the story up.

For example you could do something like this:
I felt the springs bounce as Dave hopped out of bed. Groaning, I squinted at the clock. "Good grief, Why are you getting up at four AM?"
That's not perfect, but shows a way to combine a few lines into one while painting a picture for the reader.

Although the ending was a tad predictable and the message on the headstone possibly a bit too long, I still think you did a fantastic job and delivered a vital message--actually several messages. Prayer is so powerful, never give up on loved ones, and we never know when the end might come. (She has a lesson about tightening stories and writing a good ending with a restricted word count out there too if you haven't seen them yet.)

I truly believe your story will impact many lives. It reminded me to be more consistent in witnessing to my loved ones. I sincerely thank you for that. Your character is someone whom I would like to model myself after. You did a great job.
Jesus gave his entire life obeying God. He only asked God one time if it would be OK for him not to have to do something that God wanted him to do but he ended that prayer with a "but not my will but yours."

In Acts chapter 2 the people who finally believed that Jesus was both Lord and Christ didn't just ask Peter for a short prayer to let Jesus into their lives but asked "What shall we do?" They were told to repent and be baptized and their sins would be forgiven and they would receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Those who accepted his message obeyed and about 3,000 were baptized.

In our writing let us always show the Bible way of obeying.

Should be obey any less than they did?


God bless~