The Official Writing Challenge
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07/19/14
I liked the flow of this piece. I think you've achieved your goal. Well done. And Amen to that last paragraph.
07/19/14
Very good writing here. I like your style. Keep writing...
You outline and describe the wonderful story of Nehemiah well and then bring out a good application for our present day. Well done. Just a little red ink - watch out for use of upper and lower case letters and avoid over-capitalisation. Keep writing.
07/19/14
Having just studied Nehemiah this past year I knew it had a lot of direct quotes in it. Thanks for the clarification.
I liked the use of the topic to correlate today's time with the time of Nehemiah. I also had to look up the word "wroth" since it is not a word I have seen before. I do agree that you have used capitalization a little too much but other than that it was well written.
07/19/14
I love this piece. The Watch is one of my favorite stories in the Bible. I love that they prayed to the Lord their God, and set a watch. They didn't pray and then sit back and wait for God to take care of it. They didn't pray and Relax, they prayed and set a Watch. A good reminder that to serve God requires action, not only faith.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the capitalizations are part of the style you've chosen.

You're writing flows well and you did an excellent job of retelling one of the best stories in the Bible. Great job!
07/20/14
I enjoyed this story and agree with you bringing its relevance into the present. It is an important spiritual message.

For me, the direct quotes were overdone and cause the story to loose originality. Like others I've studied this passage and felt at times I was simply reading a cut and paste.

I also dislike so much capitalization; which ends up spoiling those words which should be in capitals.

However, it must also be said that experimenting is a great way to learn and your writing skills still shine through.

This was an important message brought home in a well crafted way.

Blessings.
07/20/14
I agree with some of the other commentators about the use of capitalization. Most of it seemed out of place in the context of the piece.

But the essence of your message is good.

07/21/14
Nehemiah's story is one of my favorites and this article brings important and relevant reminders to the church and to individuals. Good job!
07/21/14
Nice retelling of a great Bible story, and an insightful paragraph at the end. Nicely done!
07/21/14
Excellent job with this piece. I really enjoyed it and the way it was presented, well done!

I of course, enjoy any piece but especially Biblical referenced ones, and this one was truly enjoyable.

God Bless~
Your closing paragraph summmed this wondrous brave story well. Thank you for reminding me that taking a stand for God is the only way to overcome our crumbling walls.
I can feel your passion and desire to pass on your knowledge of the Bible with as many people as possible. I'll admit, I struggled a bit to see your personal touch in the story. I'd have enjoyed it more if you shared how this story has impacted your life in some ways. Another thing to consider is retelling it in modern English so that it would be easier for those not familiar with it to truly understand the wonderful message. It may just be me, but I wanted to share my thoughts . I felt like I was reading it directly from the Bible. I think you picked the perfect story for the topic. I did like the part after the stars and wished you had expounded more on that because I could see what you were saying. It's true that many of the ancient Bible stories are just as relevant today as they were then.
Jesus built the church so we know it is good. It is the people represented as being in the church that is the problem.

I liked the conclusion you arrived at and the OT illustration.

Keep writing and warning.