The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 501 times
Member Comments
Interesting story about how people can be so consumed with what they think is important when what's important is the people around them. I like your message.

It would have been a little easier read if you would separate the paragraphs and speaking parts. Generally--speaking parts have their own sentence. Thanks so much for sharing.
So glad that Paul survived. Thank you for sharing a piece of your life with us. This journal in your heart reflects how the Spirit touched your heart and made you realize the importance and worth of family.

Beautiful job!

God bless~
A wonderful touching story.

I think you probably realize now that if the format would have been dealt with, the flow and intended meaning of your words and dialogue would have struck home in a more powerful way.

I look forward to your future writing with more attention to the always painful area of mechanics. God bless.
Wow, this just gripped my heart. Often, I'll tell people to start off with the attention grabber, which in this case would have been the sick baby. But in this story, the conflict in the garage was the perfect beginning. It set the tone and truly allowed the reader to fully understand the state of mind of the MC. You set the perfect atmosphere. If you haven't entered the testimony contest, I strongly encourage you to. I couldn't believe this was based on a true story. You have a wonderful gift. I can't wait to read more of your work.
I felt a lot of "rushing" in the article. I guess that is the way we are when things are not right with God.

Calamities may be a way God uses to draw us (some one) back to him.

A story like this may help a person see a situation in their life and draw them closer (back) to God.

Good writing.

God bless~