The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
07/17/14
This was a good challenge on how we are making use of the time we have been given.
After reading through many very good articles that dealt with the topic, I find this article to be one of the best! Keep up the good work my friend in Christ!

God Bless!
07/21/14
Such an important subject. I think about it all the time. Good job of getting your point across. James said that our life is like a vapor. That pretty well sums up what you pointed out. I always thought of time as a sliver taken out of eternity. You have great potential. A few suggestions. Start out with a hook to catch our attention. Your beginning was a little off target from your body. Your thoughts were good, but a little more continuity would benefit. I look forward to future writings from you.
07/21/14
Excellent!

God bless~
Your message is a powerful one indeed. So often, we humans spend much of our time wishing our lives away. It's easy to do when the stoplight stays red longer than we want or if the doctor keeps us waiting. Even good times are wished away. I'm sure we've all said I can't wait until... Christmas, the baby is born, for a better job.

I would encourage you to go back and see how many times you repeated words like day and night, time, and life. If you read some stories in level four, you'll find some are clearly on topic without ever using the topic words. I'd like to challenge you to try doing that or maybe only use it once next time you write a challenge story. In doing so, you'll also discover your work becomes tighter and the message clearer. I don't challenge just anyone; I believe you are gifted enough to accomplish that goal.
To give you an example of what I mean by tightening your story, the following is another way one might tackle the opener:
"I don't have time to help you. There's only twenty-four hours in a day." I cringe when I hear these words. Some people tend to focus on the wrong things. It's not how much time we have that's important but what we do with those precious minutes.

My example isn't perfect, but I hope it shows you what I mean. One way isn't better than the other either, but in this world of instant gratification, we do need to grab people before they click on another story.

You did definitely show your passion and deliver a timely message. The news is on in the background and it reminds me of the truth in your words. The time to act is now, for there may not be a tomorrow. Keep writing, I'm eager to read your next article.