The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 512 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Your story encompasses the topic in a powerful way. I loved the resistance of your MC that can only come through a freak faith in God.
06/16/14
Tornadoes really disturb me...they are scary and out of control.

But, your story was well done and filled with a great message at the end.

WEll done.

God bless~
I liked the true to life setting/location of the story.

The emotions and feeling came through nicely.

Having experienced one many years ago, I was able to follow the sights and sounds of your story quite vividly.
This could and should and possibly will be made into a movie thriller. I love the power of your MC and the vivid descriptions. Well done!
06/18/14
Your story was as powerful as its subject.

I think your 'hook' could have been stronger. Two people sitting down, drinking coffee on a porch swing is a slow start.

Your second paragraph is a better start... bad storms and anxiety erupting in the gut are more powerful concepts than porch swings.

Just by putting para two in front of para one, your story would jump out of the box a little quicker (this is however, just my opinion).

I loved the Aunty's ability to bounce back and it reflected great faith.

Blessings.
06/18/14
A suspenseful read for me, very much enjoyed this, tornadoes are terrifying,( I'll never understand "storm chasers")...I liked nancy, definetly can bounce back! Well,done
06/19/14
Congratulations!

God Bless~
A well written quality article that kept my attention from start to finish. I have had first hand experience with tornadoes in my life. The home that I spent my first 19 years on this planet, was destroyed along with 210 other homes from an F-5 tornado in 2011 in the same community. God always comes through in the worst of the worst storms like these. You are and excellent writer that I enjoy reading your work each week.
Congratulations on ranking 1st in your level and 13 overall!
The beginning worked for me, because of the way the conversation moved from casual toward discussion of the storm allowing for that anxious feeling in Betty's gut to build. Really enjoyed the story.