The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/05/14


This had it all, intrique, a protagonist and an obvious antagonist. Good descriptive analysis and a powerful ending. I thought this was clever and certainly creative.

Wow! Well done!

God bless~
This may be too "real to life" for many churches these days but this has been throughout history.

You used descriptions, desires and emotions well to display the inner hearts of these two.

But we are not saying anything about the members who seem to be wanting the same as the Pastors (or what would they be doing).

Good write and it should make us think about our own inner thoughts and desires.
06/08/14
You've shown how the inner thoughts of man and pride can destroy him. These two had arrived at the pinnacle of success and this blinded them to what is truly important, God's Word.
06/11/14
I had a cold chill run up my spine from the prospect of such frightening ministries as these. You did an excellent job and delivered a powerful message without actually telling the reader what the problem was. I usually like to see the conflict early on, but here our understanding of the conflict built up to a crescendo. Then at the end you revealed one of the horrible results of such a situation.

You leave much for the reader to consider. Wonderful work.
07/14/15
Aloha Jenny - This is a well-written cautionary tale. I can see them in my mind's eye getting ready and doing the light and sound check. I can feel her controlled ire when the lights go out.