The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/29/14
Thanks for sharing pieces of your life with us Ken...My heart goes out to you, and I think this was powerful in message, content, and delivery.

God bless you~
I liked what you did here. You really laid your emotions out for all to see and that takes a lot of courage. With some editing and tweaking, I could see this in a devotional magazine or a kids' one.
05/31/14
Life has so many mysteries, but they will all be revealed one day in eternity. Thank you for sharing these experiences with us. I hope you will continue to write for God's glory. This is an interesting piece!

I noticed a few mistakes in grammar. I'll just mention one. In the third sentence of the first paragraph you used the word "your" when I think you meant to use the contraction of the two words "you are" which is spelled: "you're".

Do you read your writing out loud? Sometimes it helps to do that. Be sure to proof read several times before submitting. I hope that helps a little. God bless and keep up the good work. God has plans for your writing!
I felt attracted to the story for some unknown reason. It was an "easy read", well written story. The time transitions were smooth and enough information was supplied in each scene.

It was just interesting for some reason.