The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/22/14
Excellent story with an authentic tone. Although this was titled "fiction" I think it may have truths interspersed, and mainly the MC's part.

Well done!

God bless~
I think you did a nice job of telling a story we all can relate to. I know I personally have wondered how God could ever love me. My heart aches for the woman because I understand that feeling.

Your beginning was a tad slow. I think if you had started with the story of the woman, it might grab more readers right away because you do such a good job of showing her conflict. Remember to start a new paragraph each time someone else speaks.

I also really enjoyed the poem and think you could have ended with that because there is so much passion in the words. It almost takes my breath away. You definitely nailed the topic while delivering a powerful message.