Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: First World Problem (04/17/14)
TITLE: Old Preacher Juan (Purging problems in a first world church)
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He’d go to churches in the cities, and visit those near country farms.
He went to many villages and passed through towns some big, some little.
Wherever in the lands he went, he heard complaints like silly riddles.
“Unreal!” said Mr. Neal.
“I really can not deal.
My bible is on my phone
And the battery has keeled!”
“Oh my!” said Mrs. Rye.
“I’m freezing and will cry.
I have to leave church early
the a/c is way too high!”
“Oh man!” said neighbor Gran.
“My hair is messed from fans.
That’s why I change my seat ten times
and then I make you stand!”
“Oh please!” said Mrs. Reese.
“It’s one hundred ten degrees.
It’s just so very hot in here
my makeup is all greased!”
“Oh Gee!” said sister Bea.
“I can’t make the Sunday tea.
So when I don’t show up,
It is because I’m gluten free!”
“As if!” said sister Kit.
“The music is unfit.
It’s so old fashioned I won’t sing,
that’s why I always sit.”
“Get out!” said brother Stout.
“The music is too loud.
Every time I talk or sing
I always have to shout!”
“This can’t be!” said Mrs. Lee.
“The seats are not at all comfy.
They’re really not so fancy
like the church on Highway B.”
“You’ll see!” said Mr. Lee.
“They´re too relaxing there for me.
They make me fall asleep
but the next sermon is at three!”
“Wheaties!”” said Mrs. Beatty.
“The teachers give kids sweeties.
They’ll get ansy from the sugar
and it causes diabetes!”
“Oh groan!” said sister Sloane.
No bible studies near my home.
So I’ll just stay inside my house
I’m always so alone!”
“I’m through!” said sister Sue.
This congregation has too few.
I’ll never find a husband here
they don’t fill up the pews!”
“No way!” said sister Kay.
“Too many members here that stray.
I won’t make a real true friend
no matter what you say!”
“Oh no!” said brother Joe,
“We’re always late you know.
We come in the church pick up van,
the chauffeur drives too slow!”
“Just great!” said Mrs. Tate,
¨Another collection plate.
If I keep bending for my bag,
My designer belt will break!”
“Keep calm!” said preacher Juan. “And take your neighbor’s arm.
Stop your whine, it will all be fine, and don´t get all alarmed!
Your Lord is listening, to everything you say,
Lift your eyes, look on high, and pray this prayer today!”
Forgive me Lord, sometimes I’m bored, I’m sorry for the grumbling.
I think too much about myself and not enough of humbling.
Thank you Father, for your mercy on your sons and daughters.
We worship you for you can pull us out of quibbling waters.
Sweet Savior, any church for me should always be a haven.
Help me be a blessing to encourage and enliven.
I’m sorry Lord, excuses, they will hinder me from growing.
I praise your name, you’re always there, present, wise and knowing.
I ask your pardon Jesus when I look for some odd reason,
when I’m ungrateful that you vary churches and its seasons.
Give me grace to seek your face in every nook and cranny,
In people gathered from the little toddlers to the grannies.
Help me God appreciate your many loving blessings.
Lifting my concerns to you will lessen all the stressing.
If I’m not happy in my church, help me cease complaining.
Oh Lord you may just need me here, right where I’m pertaining.
It came to pass old preacher Juan kept on enlightening others.
Encouraging the young and old, their sisters and their brothers.
He told them if they’re looking for a church that brings delight,
the perfect church does not exist if you look with all your might.
God will show you when and where the right place is to stay.
Meanwhile, look beyond the faults, worship Him and pray.
He will bless you more than you could ever truly imagine,
when He sees declining in the whines and true compassion.
Griping in a church are often bigger first world problems,
just remember prayer and praise and patience often solves them!
“Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent children of God without fault in a crooked generation, then you’ll shine like stars in the sky.¨
Phillipians 2: 14-15 (NIV)
(Story in a poem with variation in verse format, meter and rhyme intentional)
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