The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/28/14
A powerful lesson to be learned here...(if this was a true story, so sorry for your experience.

Sometimes we need to "hurt" in order to grow, and your entry has all of the earmarks of "growing" from this harsh scenario.

The scripture you've supplied is one in order to meditate upon, and one so true.

Good writing.

God bless
02/28/14
If this is a true story, I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I pray with confidence that the Lord will redeem the situation for you. If it is fiction, I'd say you wrote a compelling tale with an interesting take on the topic.

Just one small note. You're missing a period at the end of your 4th paragraph.

Thank you for the verse reference near the end. So often it's easy to forget that we'll be judged based on matters like these.
02/28/14
What they said. I was thinking the same thing, about the true story part and the period part, lo! :) I'm sorry if that was what you went through, hope it isn't true.
03/03/14
This is a compelling story with a great message. You did a good job here.

Please indicate fiction or non fiction when there may be a doubt.

If you would, read over your piece and see how many sentences you started with "I". To make this piece even better than it already is, you could reword some of those sentences, and begin them in varying ways.

Keep writing and entering, you definitely have what it takes.