The Official Writing Challenge
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A very moving piece.

I can almost feel the grief of the MC and experience it with him.
This was a great fiction story. Definitely sad. I noticed a couple of things that you may have overlooked or perhaps you are unclear on.

You wrote, "Guess what it is." I believe you may have forgotten the ? for punctuation. This next line "I'm hoping apple peanut butter cookies." This might have been a good place for an exclamation point to show the reader the excitement he had for apple peanut butter cookies.

This next line ... "My wife was always the composed and level-headed one. She has a way of keeping things under control;"

In the first sentence you used past-tense (was), and in the second you used present-tense (has).

Both sentences should agree. Another words, "My wife is always the composed and level-headed one. She has a way of keeping things under control;" or "My wife was always the composed and level-heeaded one. She had a way of keeping things under control;" . . .

This next paragraph is very well constructed ... "I felt helpless watching her writhe in pain. I wanted desperately to bring her comfort, but every attempt failed. The sun slowly invaded the room, reminding us that our anguish had rolled over into a new day. But it also brought with it a sense of hope that nudged me to be positive. After all, this painful ordeal will end in joy when our baby boy graces us with his presence. My reverie ceased when the doctor walked in."

I could envision the whole scenario taking place with the descriptive words you used. Great writing!

I hope you don't mind me pointing these minor errors out to you, after all this is why we all enter the Challenge right? Constructive criticism will make us all better writers.

I hope to find constructive criticism on my entry so I can use that knowledge to make my next entry that much better.

Keep up the great writing!!

God bless~
Wow - I was sitting at the edge of my seat reading this powerful piece! It held me from beginning to end.

You really did a nice job with the topic at hand.


God bless~
Wow. Simply wow. This story was compelling and so, so sad. I was so thankful to read the author's note at the end. Amazing writing.
You had me full of exuberance with the labor descriptions, especially after just going through something similar two weeks ago...

then as quickly as you got my heart racing with excitement, I was shell-shocked into grief.

You have a way of capturing attention and keeping it, then throwing in unexpected curveballs. Nice job.

Glad you added this was fictional yet it felt so real.
I was so hoping for a happy ending after all the excruciatingly described tragedy.
I'm relieved it is a work of fiction.