The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 538 times
Member Comments
I enjoyed the humor and the view from a fish's perspective. I had a little trouble at times knowing who was speaking; paragraphs would make it easier reading. Even so, delightful.
Fresh, fun, delightful and a pleasure to read! I LOVED IT!!!

God bless~
I love this story. You did a delightful job of building your characters. Your tongue in cheek humor had me chuckling throughout.

You had some tiny things that needed tweaking like too instead of to and you need a comma or period after the last word before the end quote. A good proofreader would help you with things like that. I also noted a couple of awkward sentences that could be fixed with some tweaking or rearranging. Sometimes reading it out loud or even better have someone else read it and any part where you stumble might need some tweaking.

Normally, I would say don't take the topic literally, but instead write about what the saying means like someone feeling like she doesn't belong. However, you did a great take on the literal translation while still covering the

You may want to check out Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards. She gives wonderful advice for all levels of writers and responds to each person who posts on her thread. It's a great resource.
Hmm some of my comment was erased. I meant to say you did a great job of writing on topic in a fresh way. Your story stands out and will stick with me for some time which is a good thing. I look forward to reading more of your work. :)
Congratulations! God Bless~