The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You have the perfect Bible story to illustrate this topic. I appreciated the way your main character logically questioned his best friend.

A few paragraph breaks and a line break between speakers would make it a bit easier for your readers.

I think Sara will think this through. You've got me thinking too. Thanks!
I really enjoyed this. You did a great job of building your characters. The conflict was immediately apparent and drew me into the story.

The main thing I would suggest would be instead of using taglines like he replied, use that space to show your MC's emotions. For example: "Whatever!" I threw my arms in the air.
That way you show who is speaking, that he's frustrated, and create a picture for the reader.

You nailed the topic in a fresh and interesting way. I also think you did a great job of delivering an important message without coming off as too preachy. Overall, you did a great job from beginning to end.
Excellent writing and powerful message from start to end. Nicely done.

God bless~
Congratulations! God bless~
Awesome message of how to witness to others and I loved how you worked in the topic!
Excellent piece and well deserved 1st place. Congrats!