The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I loved this story. The exchange between father and son felt so real and authentic. You did an excellent job with the dialog.

The only thing I might suggest would be to switch out some taglines like he said for narrative lines to help the reader feel the emotions of the characters. For example: “Like I said just now, times have moved on." Simon threw his hands in the air.
Something like that would not only show the reader who is speaking, but paint a picture and show Simon's frustration.

I never would have thought of TV as exotic, but you did an outstanding job of showing just that. I think it's fresh and original take on the topic. My favorite part was about how the father reacted to the phrase Bring the world into your living room! That was a bit of genius in my opinion. I think this is an awesome story from beginning to end.
I echo Shann's response to your masterful story. Makes me want to toss out my television to exchange for more of His Vision . . .

You write very well, I enjoyed this immensely. Thank you.

God bless~
Congrats! God bless~