Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Example (07/25/13)
- TITLE: The Ache
By Rachel Malcolm
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Silently, tears slip down my cheeks. Pain is quiet, deep and lonely for me. The credits roll and the music is beautiful and haunting, drawing an ache from deep within my soul.
Kevin sits like a rock, unaware of my grief. These stories don’t move my husband the way they do me. I lay curled up with my head resting on his lap, feeling like everything else is racing and I am still.
“What’s wrong?” Kevin asks, suddenly aware of the damp spot on his jeans.
“I just want to be a good mom.”
Really, I had no idea that being a mom would be this hard. I want to be a good example and I try to be one, but right now I just feel like a hypocrite. Daily I teach my children Bible verses: “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” and, “Treat others as better than yourselves.” Then I go and lash out at them…wounding them.
Needing to be alone with God, I step outside. The air is so still. I kneel in the grass and sit back on my feet, gazing upwards at the glorious expanse of the heavens. The majesty makes me feel small, but also part of something immense.
“Lord, I try, but I fail again and again. Please forgive me for hurting your little ones.”
The morning is bright and cheerful, but I wake up with heaviness on my heart. It takes me a moment to remember. Oh yes, I must tell my children that I’m sorry.
I gather them around me. It feels quiet, sober, and they sense that it is important. “I’m sorry that I’ve been grumpy and yelling at you the past few days. I got caught up in things that don’t matter. It’s you that’s important to me. Please forgive me for hurting you.”
Smiling through her tears, my 11 year old daughter rushes into my arms and squeezes me. All of my children surround me, embracing me with their love. They are the ones setting the example…the example of forgiveness.
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