The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/25/13
I loved this piece...so good, and moved quickly. I like Biblical accounts, I really enjoyed this.

Thanks. God bless~
Gives me shivers . . .
05/26/13
Your entry gives us lots to think about. I enjoyed your story. Thanks for sharing.
You did a nice job on this piece. I also thought the subtle irony of the names was quite effective. The one thing I noticed is you repeated the words doorbell and door quite often. By combining sentences and using different structures you could prevent that For ex: He went to this blue house with white trim and rang the bell. The ding-dong echoed in his ears. I do like how you brought the story full circle and have been doing an excellent job.