The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You have made some great points in this piece. I can tell you know the Bible and have a desire to spread the news of God.

I did feel a bit overwhelmed by all of the verses. I know those who need to hear your message the most will often skip over a story that has too many verses in it. You may want to consider focusing on just a couple of them and use examples from everyday life to reinforce the scriptures.

Your beginning was great. I think I do remember that commercial but even if I didn't you painted a vivid picture for me. You make many points that will have the reader thinking and that's always a wonderful thing to do. Keep writing, as God has given you His words to spread throughout the land. Good job.
This would make a great Bible study...thanks for sharing it.
What a beautiful way to use the challenge word. Sometimes we are so worried about how we look, instead of how we present ourselfs in telling others about God.