The Official Writing Challenge
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I so enjoyed this story. You did a wonderful job with the dialog of little Genesee.

However you did have a POV shift. When telling a story in third person there is one character who the reader can see, feel and think through. In the beginning it was Genesee as we learned she knew about the park and that it was her favorite thing to do. But then you show us what Grandma thinks about the leaves and the bird. The way to fix that is to describe Grandma's reaction. Perhaps upon seeing the bird, she crinkles her nose or when Genesee points out the bird maybe Grandma shows indifference by not even lifting her eyes to the bird. That'll help with doing more showing instead of telling too because you'll have to describe what the MC sees and hears.

I think you did a great job of bringing the topic into your story. The ending was grand and the message precious. I truly enjoyed this delightful jaunt to the park with the little two-year-old. (Though keeping up with her pace is tiring no matter what! Oh to have that energy. :)) Great job.
I can definitely identify with the grandmother here with not wanting to go out in the cold. But granddaughters have a way of bringing out the best in a person. I love how you made everything come to life when they started singing about Jesus. He is truly amazing and does change our world.
I really enjoyed your piece and I especially loved Genesee. Your use of dialog brought her to life. You allowed us to see one day, through contrasting eyes, those of an arthritis ridden grandmother and also a joy filled toddler. But in singing about the love of Jesus, the two hearts became one, celebrating the absolute beauty within the gloomy day, and the love Jesus has for us.
Your little toddlers had charms that worked magic on her Grandma. :) I was actually enchanted with this description, "The bare trees and dead grass took on a serene glow as the sun began to peep through the clouds, filtering beams of light through the gray, low hanging limbs." I could see that visual.
I really loved this wonderful story. It reminds me of Jesus words about becoming like children with a child's faith and trust. Your story is beautifully written. It is so very true and brings out the strong truth that (like the old hymn says) 'something lives in every hue Christless eyes have never seen.'
A really great story, delightful to read. Thankyou.
What a sweet story. Loved the timeless message. I did trip up over the flow with POV change, and thought it should have stayed in the 3rd person singular. But overall, great job and grand reminder to all of us of Jesus' love!
I enjoyed your sweet story that reminds us to look at the world through a child's eyes for a fresh perspective! The little girl's words and childish lisp were well-done, and I liked the way your story ended on such a positive note! :)
Sweet story about perspective. It brings to mind the scripture where Jesus tells us to come as little children. Well done gramma!
Congratulations on your HC! I wondered if this piece might be yours. Just now when I reread it, I noticed you made granddaughter two words instead of one--that will help keep your word count down too! :) I still say you did a grand job. (I know--I was going to say great but for some reason grand seemed to fit better. :))
Way to go, Lynn. Nice to see your HC and "grand" job indeed!