The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 582 times
Member Comments
This was a well written entry that categorically makes powerful statements. I enjoyed the passages to support your comments...great job. Thank you. God bless~
Wow, you have certainly packed a feast into 750 words!

Are you, by any chance, a preacher? If not, I wonder if maybe you should be :-) The content in this is superb; this is one of those essential messages that we all need to hear, whether new in our faith or spiritual veterans.

I especially love the analogy of the heat of the kitchen compared to spiritual heat. I wonder, could the p/graph explaining this friction be placed a little higher up? I found it helped to form a picture in my mind that set me up for the rest of the message.

Can I share one tip that was given to me a while ago on this forum? When we write with messages that are intended to convict the spirit, it's good to use inclusive language. IE: instead of "you, your" etc, try and write in such a way that shows that you, the author, are just as affected as the reader by using, "our, ours" etc. I hope I've explained that well enough? If not PM me, or hopefully someone else can clarify on here.

From a purely written perspective, I did find your sentences a little punchy; lots of short, sharp and shiny points with little flow between them. It reminded me a little of my bible college sermon notes, (hence my previous question).

Whoever "you" are you have a powerful message and your enthusiasm was conveyed clearly and so very well. I am so glad that I read this and wait with baited breath to discover your identity (so I can read your other entries!). God bless, and thanks so much for your conviction and boldness to preach the Word of God so powerfully. (And sorry I wrote so much :-) ).
WOW! This I'm printing so I can chew on this very powerful message. I enjoyed this so much. Thank you for a very interesting article about the kitchen of spiritual food.
I agree this is a powerful message, but I also agree that it does not flow well. I found it difficult to read and retain interest. Obviously others felt differently and were enthralled with the writing, but you might gain a wider audience if you combined more sentences and added more interest between each of your strong teaching points.

Here's an example.

It is in the culinary kitchens that meals are prepared to provide its dependents with daily nourishment.

In the spiritual realm, the kitchen is also the source of nourishment, but of a spiritual nature.

These two sentences could be joined together to create flow and to show that the two thoughts belong together.

It is in the culinary kitchens that meals are prepared to provide its dependents with daily nourishment, yet in the spiritual realm, the kitchen is also the source of nourishment. I'm talking about nourishment of a spiritual nature.

There are other sentences which don't seem to flow with the next, like you are jumping from one thought to another.

Just some things to think about as you put all your powerful thoughts together. You have some great things to say and have already impacted others with this entry. Thanks for sharing it.
This is a thought-provoking mini sermon. You make some valid points and give me pause to stop and think.

You may want to narrow it done to just one or two bits of scripture so as to not overwhelm the reader, especially if the reader is someone new to Christianity. It's a sad fact that many people will skim over an article that has a lot of scripture in it. So by expanding on just one or two points hopefully will help the reader want to pick up her Bible and explore the topic more.

I think the way you compared a culinary kitchen to a spiritual one was quite clever. It made me stop and think. I have no doubt how Satan turns up the heat in my kitchen! I imagine different people have different triggers. What is wonderful is Jesus is right there waiting for our call to cool off. Good job.
Congratulations for placing 10th in level two!
Well done, Pastor :-)