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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Guard Your Heart (06/08/12)
When all is gone and evil lives
When there’s nothing you can give.
The pain inside you is so great
For a cure you cannot wait.

You guard your heart.

When all failed and you’re nowhere
When you find no body cared.
When you try to hang on
But your answers turn out wrong.

You guard your heart.

When your time is running out
When none hears you cry or shout.
Those around you will not care
Not knowing even if you’re there.

You guard your heart.

When all you do fails each try
When none hear your mortal cry?
You walk fire for the test
But can’t do you very best.

You guard your heart

When you’re lost and all alone
When there’s no place to call home.
You reach out into the air
For the help you hope is there.

You guard your heart.

To His side He’s drawing you
Understands what you go through.
He wipes away all your tears
Ease your pain calming you fears.

You guard your heart.

All the pain that’s plaguing you
He will help you see it through.
Your harshness no longer there
You will find He’ll always cared.

You guard your heart

Helping you in every way
All you do and all you say.
In you life He’ll be a part
Standing in He’ll guard your heart.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Laura Manley
06/15/12
Your message is very clear in this entry of the challenge at hand. For the most part, your poem was rhythmic; however, there were times when I lost that rhythm. Also, proofreading your work is a good thing. I noticed in a few places, you used "you" instead of "your." Spellcheck will not pick up those kinds of things. As a whole, I thought your poem was very well thought out and proved to have an excellent message. Good writing!
Avigail David
06/16/12
I identify with your thoughts in this poetry very much. Thank you. Blessings!
C D Swanson 
06/17/12
Amen & Amen. Beautiful poem, flowed smoothly...and most important - praised the Lord in loving words.

Thank you. It touched my heart. God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/21/12
This is so beautiful. In the beginning I felt like somehow you had been eavesdropping on some of my thoughts. The repetition was so lovely and really helped your message shine.

Tiny red ink. There were a couple of spots where you used you instead of your. Also nobody should be one word. In the third stanza you used none and each time I read it no one seemed to come out and to my untrained ear seemed to flow better.

This is right on topic and it really touched my heart. The ending is so perfect. Thank you for sharing this with me, it really meant a lot.