The Official Writing Challenge
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Nicely written with a fresh outlook on the subject. Make sure you proofread your entries. There are some things that spellcheck won't pick up, i.e., "its" for "it's," etc. I enjoyed your entry very much as I found it truly coming from your heart.
This was touching and so well conveyed. I enjoyed the poignant, yet subtle reminders throughout. Thanks. God bless~
You did a wonderful job with this piece. I'm sure many of the conclusions you came to would be difficult to admit (even if this isn't based on a true story, writing something like this would force one to look inside her heart.) You did a great job of writing on topic but still delivering a powerful message.

There are a few little things that you could tweak to make this good story even better. First, try not to mention the challenge or the topic in your story because the EC winners get published in an anthology where the reader may have no knowledge of the challenge. Instead I'd recommend that you start out with an attention grabber that will really pull the reader in. Something like - I stood at the back of the room watching this family as I felt the blood rush to my face. Like I had done so many times in the past, I quickly looked the other way.
That may not be the best example of your feelings but I wanted to show you what I meant. You also have a few little technical things that a good challenge buddy or critique group could help you with.(Check the message boards or PM someone who you trust and ask if that person would like to be your challenge buddy)

The one thing that I noticed is what is called a POV shift. Since most of the story is told in first person, the reader can only be aware of what the MC sees, hears and feels. So you wouldn't be able to go inside the mind of the mother. You could describe what she does or says in the presence of the MC. For example you wouldn't be able to know she wanted her daughter to fit in but you could describe the things she did to make you come to that conclusion. For example, you could say she bought her daughter nice clothes or gently pushed her daughter toward a group of girls her age. This is something I just started working on myself. It's important to keep the POV consistent. At one point you switch and use the word you instead of I.

The things I mentioned are little things but the must important thing is how you answered God's calling to share this story with strangers. That takes a great deal of faith and courage. I'm sure I'm not the only one who will see bits of myself in the MC. I admire your faithfulness and obedience in sharing this. Your words will touch people in so many ways. I'm sure it will reach out to people in ways you didn't expect. Keep writing, you have a natural talent and it's obvious you do want to share the Lord's love with as many people as possible. You have a great story here and I enjoyed it I want to thank you for helping me to examine myself and times when I felt God nudging me to reach out to others. Good job.
Great challenge here. We are all guilty in some way of turning aside from others when they need us. Well done.