The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a great story. It angers me when I see nurses treating adult patients like they were babies. I think your story will help in the education of how to handle any person who is different.

To me, I think the topic may have been a bit of a stretch. I can see it in there but of all the rating categories that would likely be the lowest. However sometimes God puts a story on your heart and you just have to write it. I can feel your passion and pain in your words.
You tell a story well. Work on your grammar a bit and you will be that much stronger. Also, proofread for the small things-there was an e left out of the word "something." Good job telling a story that shined light on an important issue-the value of the elderly and the respect due them.
This is a good reminder to respect all people, whether or not they can respond as you wish they could. Inside their confused thoughts, the patients do have moments of understanding and they should, indeed, hear respect for them when these moments occur. One writing tip that was given to me, I will pass along to you: When you see that you are using one particular word often, check for another word to use. The word I am thinnking of from your article is "begin", which was used a few times in a short space. Otherwise, I thought you did a nice job with this!
A well written story resonating authenticity. As many of you know, I have been involved my whole career in Nursing Facilities...and so much of what you wrote is true.

Thank you for this touching piece that speaks to my heart. God Bless you~
I so appreciate people who do something to remedy bad situations. Most people just turn a blind eye or stew in silence. This is a helpful story, well written!