Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Experiment (02/16/12)
- TITLE: Theory of Influence
By Dimple Suit
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Wanting to write, becoming discouraged, and walking away from it to pour through books on how to be a writer put me in a thesis mode to prove, or disprove, my ability and skill. Creating character sketches, forming opening hooks, developing sentence structure, proper verb usage, plot continuity, and so many mechanical techniques, I gathered a library of ‘help-me’ books! I could study for years on writing and publishing but I could never learn it all. I determined, “I will never be a writer.”
Life dealt me a couple of serious blows and I drowned in pools of darkest emotions. My teenage solace of journaling failed me because I could not remember how to put thoughts on paper. Vivid recall of how to structure the sentence replaced the healing of just writing what I felt. My feelings so overwhelmed me, I no longer could capture my emotions in coherent thought. Poetry of my life now a tragic drama left me empty so I wrote nothing. I fell into a spiral of rejected manuscript ideas I never even tried; I gave up.
I kept hearing ‘write.’ Everywhere I turned, notebooks of blank pages awaited me, the pens placed neatly in desk drawers. Every time I sat down at the laptop, I skipped by half finished stories to play games or check email. I turned creative time to watching movies and cooking shows. I closed off my office space as effectively as I closed off my creative outlet. Some might kindly refer to this as a block, but I know better.
When the call to ‘write’ blossomed in my heart, no longer coming from my head, ignoring it became futile. I sat down and obeyed. My pen ran out of ink as I filled page after page of thoughts, ranting and lashing out, crying and seeking, loving and healing. I found God talking to me through the flowing words. At first, I felt self-serving but after a few days, I discovered this communication between us was not all pats on the back or comforting encouragement. Some of it was convicting and I heard, ‘write more.’ With plenty of ink refills and paper, I kept going. Sentences as fragmented as my thoughts turned into an ongoing dialog of instruction and forgiveness.
God gives us talents, gifts of creativity and knowledge. He calls us to use them for His glory. I discovered He gives us these things not just for Him, but so He may use them for us. He calls us, expects our obedience, for in so doing we have a deeper relationship with Him. When we act on our calling, He moves mightily and beautifully. He imparts His wisdom so we may serve Him joyfully, completely. He influences us to a healing we may not recognize we need. He shows us how to be who He wants us to be. Since laying aside the ‘how to’ study books and simply answering His call, I found secrets hidden in my soul. I found answers to questions I did not want to face. I found talking with our Lord in a way deeply personal and tailored for me. I found redemption.
I know structures and tense, conflict and climactic conclusion, are elements of what makes a writer’s story marketable. In these last few weeks, what I have discovered matters most is not selling the work; it is heeding God's call to write. Obeying His command, I now have open conversation with God every day, several times throughout the day, where He reveals to me less of myself and more of Him, of His will for me in following Him. Should these interactions encourage others in their walk, I serve His glory in sharing them.
Psalm 51:6 “Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden party You will make me to know wisdom.”
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