The Official Writing Challenge
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What a wonderful way to describe the Holy Spirit. Nicely done. I could see this being carried out in a Sunday Bible Class with the youngsters. Well written and beautiful message. Thank you! God Bless~
This is a powerful message. I'm sure there are many peopel who can relate to that rebellious stage.

You had several tiny errors such as old fashioned should be old-fashioned, weather should be whether, and missing question marks. Having a good proofreader would help you catch those little things.

I really like the idea of the experiment with the jar and the rocks. What a great children's message this would make. Thanks for that!