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TITLE: Shame On Me
By Denise Isaac
01/18/12
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There has never been anything more humiliating then being made ashamed of something. The most devastating kind is when you adamantly debate an issue publicly and loudly, later to find out how wrong you were. No one wants or likes to be wrong but it happens to the best of us, every now and then. I could recall one of my most disturbing moments when ministering, I thought that the attentiveness from the congregants were because I had such a great topic and was on point as usual. However, I learned that my wig was slipping back and had exposed the grayness, telling my age as well. The luscious, thick and black long hair that everyone thought I had was now discovered as fake. Wow!

I felt the movement of the wig but never thinking that it had actually exposed what was underneath. You would think that I would have stopped wearing them but no; it only helped me to secure them a little better, to have another episode but this time with the sweat affecting my black hair dye, that rolled down my face during one of my heated sermons, LOL. The exposing of your weaknesses, shortcomings and mishaps could be a blessing sometimes, even though painful. It would help you to see what you fail to consider important and to deal with appropriately. Sometimes it takes multiple encounters before it becomes shameful to some. I only need one reprimand, encounter or check, for me to prevent further humiliations, I thought.

I do not like having any shameful moments at all but it seems like the more I try to pay attention to the details, the over compensation causes me to miss one minute thing and whoop there it is. I sometimes forget that the Holy Spirit is with me and to invite Him into the equation to enlighten me and for guidance. I began to ask Him to lead me in my cooking, dressing, and doing specific things to avoid the hassles and unnecessary distress. People would ask for instance, what did you do to a particular dish I had prepared and I would happily reply; the Holy Spirit just dived in and wallowed in the pot.

I had to learn that in spite of the Lord’s humiliation He accomplished a great task, by NOT allowing it to stop him from his plans, purpose and mission. I used to deal with such encounters so badly and immaturely until I could not stand myself. I would regress to temper tantrums, debates, or whatever surfaced, when brought to my attention by anyone and would try to justify why it happened, as well. It is a blessing to have a real encounter with the Lord who brings deliverance as a benefit, for it has changed my life profoundly. I have learned how to accept constructive and destructive criticisms without retaliating and becoming upset. The Charlie Brown Syndrome was popular for me during that time of immaturity, stubbornness and selfishness. My undelivered state brought about many humiliating and disturbing characteristics, which caused me to forfeit several great opportunities and relationships in my life.

I am grateful for being able to share my testimony and the love of Christ, for He bore the greatest of shameful moments but yet He remained good in character. I am even shameful as I write, just realizing how awful I had been as a professed Christian but in order to be elevated to where I am now, it took being humbled, suffering and the grace and love of God, which I am blessed for His forgiveness towards me, always. I vow to be an example and show others how to avoid such pitfalls and live victoriously in Him, always. Thank you.

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