The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/05/11
Endearing... this made me hope with all hope that this story is true. That there are still places in this busy world where grandma & grandpa are on the front porch.
I love this homely story and the wisdom displayed by the lovely mother.
The way give a reason for her change of attitude until many uyears later is also effective.
I did notice that you use comeuppance quite a number of times in the early part of the story. Suggest you find an alternative for a few of them. Other than that, a most enjoyable read.

I love this story. Momma sounds like an outstanding mother.

You do repeat some phrases that if you watch that will give you more words to make your characters come to life. Example: The paragraph that starts with - After wed grown up, and had children of our own did Momma -is repetitive. Also remember to be consistent when capitalizing Momma when you use it as a name.

This is such a beautiful tribute. It reminded me of my mom. I really enjoyed this story and know as a mother myself you sometimes can't help but laugh at your kids. Nice job.
Congratulations on ranking 6th in level two!