The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a powerful read. I loved how you managed to create a rhythm with your words. It added so much to your story. I also used to be afraid of heaven for the same reason. I pictured it as a very long church service and when I was a child, it really scared me that I would get in for fidgeting when I was bored. This is a well-written story with a spectacular message.
Marvelously constructed story with a powerful message. Very well written, most interesting, and in my humble opinion, you should be at the top this week.
Thanks for sharing.

Wow. That was a great story with a natural rhythmn. When I started reading this, I thought to myself how great it would be as a children's book until I reached to the ending. I surely didn't anticipate that ending but a good message that carries truth of the consquence of our eternal choice.

I liked the imagery of clocks and "tick-tock" in this story that gave it a quality of its own.
Wow! Superbly written, nicely paced, holding my interest all the way to the end. Awesome! God bless!
Congratulations for placing 6th in your level!