The Official Writing Challenge
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Hello there. I'm judging this week, so can't actually comment on your entry, but wanted you to know before you wrote something for the next topic, that your entry had to be disqualified because it was way over the maximum word count allowed. The maximum is 750 words, and you came in at 1,189. I'm so sorry.

Just keep the word counts in mind for the future (150 minimum, 750 maximum) and remember to break up the dialogue into new paragraphs, and you'll be fine.

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
This is very sweet. I'm sure that your next entry will qualify now that you know about the word count. I did have an (unintentional) laugh in the first sentence, when Jerry brushes the hair from her head. Unless he left her bald, I think you may have meant "...from her eyes." Really, a piece with lovely emotional content.