The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
great story :-) just remember to leave some spacing to help the reader follow it through.
I liked your story very much. It has the tension needed to keep people reading and it has a happy ending, which I'm a sucker for.

Better spacing between paragraphs would make it easier for your readers.

Thanks for sharing.
Great story filled with intrigue. Once I started reading I had to finish. I was pulled into your story like a moth is to the flames. Thanks you and keep writing.
Interesting story, told well. I liked the mid-conversation intro and the bits about the chair. The story structure and the tie in to the Proverb at the end also worked well.
This is a very touching story I would love to see you polish it up just a but and submit it to a magazine. It took my breath away. Congratulations on your first place ribbon.
well done on your ribbon and moving onwards and upwrds
Thank you to everyone who read my story, for the encouraging comments and for the 1st place. I am so happy to be linked in with like minded people as we explore the talents that God has given us. The Lord bless you all.
Such a compelling story. I was waiting for the chair to crumble beneath him, but his final fall was much more satisfying. Great writing.
Oops. Forgot to congratulate you on your first place. Absolutely deserved.