The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I really liked your take on this topic! I think it had some realistic properties to it, until the very end where you threw in a twist. However, I think the twist took away from the story. I would've rather seen the power of the gospel changing the child's life. Overall, good story though!
This was a good story! I enjoyed it through and through! You have woven this story beautifully. My suggestion would be, now that you aren't restricted with word count, to take this and add more description and create a longer, detailed story and submit it to a magazine for teens. It'd be great!
I liked the first half of your story far better than the second; you made the teen very realistic. I'd have liked to have seen this part expanded, to know more about what drove the teen to leave.
Good work. I agree with the above.
Great job!
I loved it all! Great work.
Rachel, I just wanted to stop by and encourage you, and let you know that your entry was in the semi-finals for the Hotel/Motel challenge. So even though you didn't actually receive an award, you did do very well. Introducing "angelic twists" doesn't always work - and I'm probably one of the toughest judges when it comes to that. But I thought you actually pulled it off quite well. Good imagination. Keep writing and entering the Challenge - you're heading in the right direction. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)