The Official Writing Challenge
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This was a hoot! Very funny! And what woman among us (at least, those of us over 40?) doesn't know that miserable, drooping feeling, which usually comes at the most inopportune time? Great job on the writing!
Oh, wow. You had me hanging on every word, that is, until the "problem" was revealed! And then I laughed and laughed! How funny! I can imagine the whole scene! Great story!
Very funny. You painted a vivid picture, I could easily see the underwear dangling. Good job.
What an amusing story. I nearly choked when you explained the problem. That actually happened. My mother walked out behind this woman when the elastic broke and her underwear fell down around her ankles. Mom said the lady just politely stepped out of her underwear and kept on walking as if nothing had happened. That was over 60 years ago. Thanks for the reminder. Keep writing and God bless.
Oh my gosh - I remember a relative telling me about their underwear falling down and calmly stepping out of it -- about 60 years ago! How crazy is that!
This is so cute, and true to the Teen dialogue. I love that they had the courage to invite Tommy to the prayer vigil. Great job!
What a riot! A lot of fun stuff AND a good message too. Your ending was LOL funny!
Oh my, hilarious!

I thought the main characters were young adults until the part about returning to their office building, indicating they were adult co-workers, not schoolmates. Sometimes it's hard to indicate the right age for your MC's, without actually telling it.

Great work bringing this funny story alive!
Really funny situation--I love the way you described the intense look on her face.

Take a look at your dialog tags. You rarely need to supplement the verb with an -ly adverb...and often just "said" or "asked" will do. Use the words of the dialog itself to indicate emotion.

I can't imagine how embarrassing that would be...
I enjoyed the humor woven around the plan of Salvation. Funny!
I wasn't expecting that! This was a lot of fun to read--good job!
I liked it!
Too funny. I had all kinds of ideas as to what the problem was, but definitely not that! :)
I particularly liked the suspense of what the problem might be and then the humor of your character's startling revelation.
A very humorous and well written piece!
Enjoyed this immensely, and I liked the way you were able to break up the intensity of the message with a real life situation (that happens to all of us in one form or another) and come back to it at the end to nicely tie the story together. Well done!
Funny and effective. Keep it coming!