Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Orange (the color) (11/19/09)
TITLE: A Shift in the Life of a Hall Monitor
By Timmy Boyle
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I am now, “Hall Monitor Timmy”, but you can call me “Sir”.
I take my job very seriously. The safety of our children is at stake.
With the eyes of a hawk and reflexes of a cat, I monitor a hall like no other. I will give you fair warning. Do not cross the man in orange!
10:10am – Starting my warm-up. A few stretches and one lap of the hall. People are watching and they look impressed. I’m not sure if it’s because of my level of commitment or my pink leg warmers.
10:15am – Heading to the gymnasium to sign in. Will practice my “Tough guy” walk on the way.
10:17am - Was "bumped" three times in the hall. Thank goodness for self-control.
10:19am – Just picked up my shirt and name tag. The name tag is fine, but the shirt is orange. That would not have been my number one choice. When I mentioned that to the woman behind the table she called me a “Diva”, tossed me the shirt (with some oomph) and told me to get to work...Thanks, mom.
10:22am – Setting up my Control Centre.
10:24am – Just had four people tell me that calling a chair a “Control Centre” is a little over the top. Hey Pastor, thanks so much for that sermon on “Speaking truth”.
10:29am – One minute ‘till lockdown. Washrooms? Clear! Classrooms? Clear! Air Ducts? Clear!
10:30am – This hallway is now the safest place in the world. President Obama could wander freely…if he had three pieces of ID.
10:35am – Have to go to the bathroom. No worries. Depends!
10:44am – Just had my first “situation”. The person entered my hallway and proceeded to reach into their pocket. In that situation its kill or be killed, so I had no choice but to respond with a quick “Arm bar” take down. False alarm.
Turns out she was getting a mint. I helped her up, told her to keep both hands visible next time, and returned her cane.
10:51am – Some guy keeps knocking at the door. It’s getting very annoying.
10:58am – He’s gone…finally! The man was persistent, but I just kept my back to the door, pretending like I couldn’t hear him. Next week, he’ll come on time.
11:00am – It’s almost time for the sermon. A deacon just asked if I’d seen the Pastor. Apparently he’d stepped out for a second…some time ago. Maybe he’s counselling the late comer.
11:05am – Children’s program is about to split up into their separate class rooms. Have to go monitor the change over.
11:10am – Didn’t like the way one of the kids looked at me. I’ve removed him from the group until I can cross reference his name tag with the attendance list.
11:12am – All clear. But, I’ll certainly address that look of “disrespect”…once we get home.
11:15am – Have to go to the bathroom. No worries.
11:18am – Ushers are coming through with the offering plates. My adrenaline is pumping faster than Santa’s sleigh on Christmas.
11:22am – I kept them safe. No tip.
11:25am – Little girl has pinched her finger in a chair. Looks pretty bad. I have to get ice.
11:32am – Stop crying already! I’ll get the ice once I’ve finished double checking all the doors and blind spots.
11:35am – When I dropped off the ice, the little girl started laughing. I thought it was because her finger was feeling better, but it was actually because she thought my outfit was funny looking.
Apparently, my orange shirt doesn’t goes very well with the pink leg warmers. No kidding, Sherlock! Orange wasn’t my first pick, either!
12:00pm – Service is running late, but I will not abandon my post.
12:10pm – C’mon! Seriously. That 15th repeat on the chorus has just cost you overtime pay.
12:17pm – Finally! I was getting nervous. My Depends aren’t holding up well.
12:25pm – Returned my name tag and shirt. I gently placed the tag on the table and tossed the shirt back to my mom…with some oomph. Not a good plan.
12:29pm – Have to pack up my Control Centre and then head off to a meeting. I’m told the Pastor wants to see me. Probably wants to extend a personal congratulations.
Just doing my job, Pastor…just doing my job.
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