The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/15/05
Nice characters, good dialog and images. Watch your verb tense and a few other small things (" didn’t even pay attention to where she was pointing at because" -drop the at and "Birds came flying by , chirping its usual tune" - plural birds, but singular "its" singing). This is a good reminder that we need to see more than just what's around us :)
08/17/05
Dana was seeing so much more than you were.
If only we see the beauty around us, instead of flaws, then we can appreciate the true message of what this story was all about.
08/20/05
I loved this, I try to appreciate the beautiful world God made for us but life often gets so busy I let other things get in the way. Great reminder, I saw a few grammer mistakes but other than that it was great.