The Official Writing Challenge
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How sad for the children whose parents view them as an inconvenience.
A well-written, sad story. Thank you for bringing light to the situation of some teens in Africa.
thank you a powerful story. I have a couple of suggestions :-). I was not clear as to how old the author was. I wondered at first if she was a teenager but confused as she seemed older. I am still not sure so some clues might have been helpful particularly as the theme was teens and so I am not sure if the only teen was the young girl.
The first part was told dramatically but die to word count you squashed up the rest about the parents. Not sure of the answer, the story would have been good even without the parents part.
Certainly a provocative and interesting story. Some people may be surprised by the following comment, but I wondered what race the various characters were. Durban is such a cosmopolitan city and racial differences between the victim, the officers and the bystanders would surely have contributed to the tension.
I thought the most tragic part of your story was the reaction of the parents. Hopefully their transferring their daughter to a private hospital was testament to a change of heart
thanks for the comments.
The girl was 13 years of age.
All parties were white. This happened 40 years ago.
Okay, I was in a good mood before I read your article and now I am mad! Good writing! How sad this is true, my heart was crying for the girl while I was hurling darts towards the dad. Keep up the good writing!
This story held my interest, so that tells me you are a good storyteller. Maybe could find a way to work in a few more details. I always feel cheated if I don't know the MC by name. Good job.