The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/04/09
Good job with the flashes of scenes from the lives of these two women.

A few times I had to backtrack a bit to figure out who was talking--maybe a few more dialogue tags or attributions would help?

I like that you didn't portray one life path as 'wrong' and the other as 'right'.
06/04/09
The balance between "the grass is greener there" and the affirmation of each other so captured the bitter and sweet.