The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/05/09
I went from thinking it was circus dogs to circus lions to circus bears. At least I got the circus part right.
Enjoyable entry.
Good story line here. It made me sad to read it though as on a personal level I hate the use of animals in a circus. You did potray your two main characters very well though.
Well done.
I really loved this. It took me two reads to get that they were bears speaking. That is not the writers fault...It was so obvious the second time I read it. Yes, bears in tutu's; what are we thinking? So far this is my favorite. Thanks.
I truly enjoyed this. I love it when animals tell the story. Thanks for sharing.
03/07/09
Oh this is so good! I loved it! Well done.
03/07/09
Wonderful story. You did a super job of personification.
03/10/09
I began to wonder if these were animals, then suspected bears. Very creative. I enjoyed this, it was quite entertaining.
03/10/09
Loved the voices of the bears. You did a great job with their personalities. Very funny, light read...I really enjoyed this. Nice job with the topic.
Very entertaining. Fun read!
You have a great command of language and use it to the benefit of your story. For instance, this line: "Brutus expelled a defeated breath, staring into space." Says so much about the characters you are writing about.

I also enjoyed the personification of the animals, great job in capturing their emotions. I think I would have liked to have known their true self a little earlier on, however. But that is just a personal preference and has nothing to do with your writing style or your story.
03/12/09
Great job Ruth Ann, very creative and quick. You write dialogue so well - congrats.