The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I think you nailed the topic with this one. Excellent!
Its an interesting point as to why some houses feel friendly while others feel downright spooky. I find that its easier to pray in the home of a really godly family even when no one else is around. Not that bricks and mortar carry emotions, but theres more to this world than we can see and touch.
Very sweet!
I loved this line:

Luke flapped his hands. And when I fell down the stairs, I heard it say ouch, ouch, ouch.

I think your title fits the story perfectly, and I really like the lesson being taught here. It truly is the people who make a home special.
Very homey. It gives a cosey feeling to the reader. Good title, too. I guess lots of houses say, "Ouch." And this sounds like a home as well as a house, as it should be...Helen
It cast a pale glow that seemed to enclose them in a soft ball of light, separating them from the darkness of the rest of the room. This is a lovely word picture...and houses definitely do have a "feel" about them.
Your title is great, and I love the emotions. I especailly love the calm surranding these family members at bed time.
Very creative idea. You've told this well I couldn't wait to read what the kids were thinking concerning how their house felt. You've added humor to the heart-warming aspect of this.
Great insights in this story, as told through the wonderful dialog. I just love the whole "feel" you created with your writing - a peaceful, loving atmosphere. A real home, one I'd would want to grow up in.
I think this is very powerful writing, not because of the delicacy with which personalities are drawn, or the beauty of the storybuilding scenario, but because it draws the reader into its heart and its thinking style so deliberately. Magnificent.
Awww! What a neat story time! I liked the twins best of all, Jake especially. It was a great story, I was half-expecting a spooky ending, but the happy one worked much better! Nice job! ^_^
This was excellent. I love how home was shown here.
Great job! Excellent characterizations and dialogue!
You could just feel the love and hominess (is that a word?) of this piece. Reading it simply makes you feel warm and good all over.
You have some great tag lines in here, too. Loren
I really liked this. It was great seeing the kids helping describe what a home is. Well done.
Haha. Placed again in intermediate. You are on a roll my friend. Congrats! :)
Four ribbons in your last four entries... get use to it. You are a wonderful writer. Loved this one. It could be a fantastic children's book.
Whoohoo! It's up to advanced for you! Congratulations! Awesome writing! ^_^
Congratulations on your win. This was a wonderful story, it captured the essence of what is a family and a home. Everything you write is a thrill to read. You have a special gift from the Lord.