The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
You've written a sweet family story through your poem. I like how you showed the difference that can be seen when a person belongs to God.
05/09/08
Nice story in verse! I'm curious as to why you chose to write it as a poem; I almost think it'd make a better narrative. You could help us get to know the characters better that way.

The meter falters a bit near the end, but this poem has a nice rhythm and good, consistent thyme scheme.
05/12/08
Ah, very nice poem! Very touching.
Laury