Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Uncles/Aunts (04/17/08)
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TITLE: A Strand of Pearls | Previous Challenge Entry
By Pamela Kliewer
04/24/08 -
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My Aunt, with this look, asks me, “How are you doing?” She really wants to know. When she looks at me like that; asking questions, we are the only two people in the room, no matter how many other relatives are there.
Everyone wants time with Aunt “D” Her nieces and nephews are individual pearls on a strand, unique to her, making a necklace to grace her heart with joy.
When spending time with Aunt D, one doesn’t just feel special, but knows they’re special. A feeling of being able to conquer anything comes on the one who has been in the presence of Aunt D for any length of time.
Radiating the love of Christ, Aunt D sheds light and warmth wherever she goes. Behind her smiling eyes, lies a hint of suffering; but somehow one knows that this suffering has served to make Aunt D the person she is today. God has molded and shaped her soul to care and show genuine interest.
Her auburn hair frames a beautiful, but tired face, showing the ravages of deep pain. Despite the suffering showing, her face glows with an inner peace that holds tight to Jesus’ hand. Even through the tempest of her own life, she still takes time to listen, absorb, and nurture, with a love that could only come from her Savior.
Aunt D is an example to me of a woman who, regardless of circumstances, is steadfast in Jesus’ embrace. Letting Him take her every care onto His capable shoulders, she can walk through this pain-filled life, soaring as on Eagle’s Wings, running and not growing weary, walking and not fainting. (i)
(i) Isaiah 40:31
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My favorite line is: "Her nieces and nephews are individual pearls on a strand, unique to her, making a necklace to grace her heart with joy." What lovely imagery, and how blessed you are to be one of the pearls! :)
Take a look at this sentence:
When spending time with Aunt D, one doesn’t just feel special, but knows they’re special.
And now see if you like this very slight re-write any better:
When I spend time with Aunt D, I don't just feel special, but I know I'm special.
I think exchanging second person for first person makes it much more intimate and real. Something to think about...
Two items, I sensed a change in tense from the first paragraph to the second, which threw me a little. I also wanted to know more about why Aunt "D" was unable to speak...was she in a hospital room?
Nonetheless, I thought your description of her eyes and non-verbal communications were superb and your tie in with Isaiah at the end was a great tribute to Aunt "D".
Thanks for the read and keep up the great work!