Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Father (as in paternal parent, not God) (04/10/08)
TITLE: Hope Deferred
By Corinne Boback
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Daddy doesn’t look at his little girl. He doesn’t acknowledge the tiny tot sitting at his feet, hoping for what will never be. He doesn’t touch her, nor pick her up and hold her. It is another night of a precious child being rejected by a father she longs for.
She looks at his tall frame as he stands up to leave the room. Tempted to pull on his pant leg as he walks by, one look, a disgusted frown, from her Daddy’s face takes that temptation away. Why does her Daddy hate her so? What has she done to be shunned by a man she wants to know, but one who doesn’t want to be known by her?
The years go by. Daddy’s little girl continues to grow. She no longer sits as a toddler at his feet, looking for the attention she knows she can never have. Now she is older, and has the belief that something is definitely wrong with her, or Daddy would want to be a father to her. He no longer has to reject her. She has learned to reject herself in his presence. She hides from his scowling face, trying never to meet his gaze. She sees herself as he has taught her to see, through eyes that are full of contempt and rejection.
Daddy’s girl is now a woman, fully mature in every way physically, but still a little girl emotionally, looking for a love she never had from the very first man in her life. And true to her upbringing, she looks for love from any and every man. She is drawn to men who merely glance at her. And just like her Daddy, they reject her too.
Hopes had been dashed for this woman to ever find the love she needed from a father, a healthy love that every little girl needs. She was sure she would go through her entire life rejecting herself, and being rejected by all men. She discovered that what she was taught to believe about herself as that toddler followed her into adulthood. It was a never-ending, vicious cycle of hope and rejection.
Then one day she met a man who changed her life completely. Soon she discovered that her hopes had not been dashed, but only deferred! This man showed her a father’s love. He smiled at her. He touched her. He lifted her up to sit on his lap. He whispered sweet nothings in her ear about how he sees her as beautiful. He played gleefully with her, joking and laughing, as every father does with his little girl. He gave her a childhood back that she thought had been stolen forever.
Her Father’s Name is Jesus Christ. In finding this Man’s love, she was able to be thankful for the rejection of her earthly father. That rejection kept her on a path to find the love of a Father who would never leave her or forsake her. His love accepted her, and taught her to accept herself. There is no fear of rejection, for this Father adores her, and she has grown to love who He adores. Hope had been deferred, that she might find the love of a Father. He restored her lost years, and in so doing, He replaced her pain with His joy. She became her Father’s child, and now happily refers to herself as a grownup child of His amazing grace.
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