The Official Writing Challenge
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Yes, our actions can make or break our chances of winning a soul.
A very effective cautionary tale for all of us. The words AND the actions of all the characters spoke loud and clear.
Very thought-provoking...

A few grammar errors and run-on sentences to be edited, perhaps, and I think your title is strong enough without the exclamation points.

Don't you sometimes wish that people could step back and observe themselves? Wouldn't we act differently if we could?

I liked this story very much. The point is well taken, Christians allow other groups to catch the fish that Jesus said was ours to catch. Good work!
I like the voice of this piece. Great take on the topic. Good job!