The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is excellent all the way around. In creativity, in message, in dialogue and in setting. This is a keeper for sure!
This is good! It could've been polished a little more (but with the word limit that's hard to do), but I got into the story right away and the characters were vivid from the start. Well done!!!
Very good job. I've got your dialogue stuck in my brain now -- argh! Keep up the great work!
A couple of transition problems like how did Sarah get from Colter's arms to her Pa's shoulder? One or two more places like that needs smoothing out, other than that a nice story.
Nicely done. Your subtle clues were very disarming. I briefly considered blindness when Sarah got hung up on the relocated rocker, dismissed that when she didn't meet his eyes, thinking she was just embarrassed, so was still somewhat surprised at the end. The missed shaken head is another good example of your attention to detail.
Excellent. Bravo. Applause. Well thought out and executed. Mega points for your ending and the restraint to not give it away completely until the end. Masterful touch. God bless.
Excellent sense of place and characterization - and a great twist I didn't anticipate. Wonderfully done!
Felt the local color and loved Pa, the sequel,,,could it have Colter and Sarah keeping company?
A wonderful take on the topic. Her father always being right there unobtrusively did not "give the game away". I loved the feel of the characters. Well done indeed!
Excellent job with setting! You just know that a guy named "Lance Colter" is going to be a cowboy, don't you? This was a good read.
This is great! I wouldn't have guessed, and saving it for the last line was fabulous--it gave the ending a great punch. Way to go!!
This is one of those stories that begs for more detail—like how did she become blind? Hope there's a longer story or a sequel coming.
Awww, you title fit this just perfect! I think they would make an interesting couple. I liked the character's name-and especially how she was able to still work and help even though she was a bit clumsy. This was a fun read. ^_^
Your story is wonderful... I loved this early line, "The two men playing checkers both found some knobby joints to rub" I could just see that. Very, very good work on this!
Congratulations on your 2nd place in Intermediate!!!! I'm so happy for you! :)
I love the ending. great writing!
***Congrats! And up to advanced you go!*** ^_^
Congratulations on winning second place. This story was well written and fun to read. Nice job!