The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/02/08
I thought this was a really spot on illustration of the proverb. It made me think, and I liked how you kept the identity of the seeker mystical and secret to the end. Excellent writing.

The devotional felt a bit forced as though you were trying to assuage guilt about not being specifically Christian. It may have tripped you into using some parts of the proverb and being literal. I don't think you needed to do this as the message was so clear.
Gave me some goosebumps just reading this through here, I liked how you kept the identity a secret and then just let us in on the tale at the end, so very clever! The ending though leaves you with a good takeaway. Nice job, good writing! ^_^
I like the way you have no idea who or what they are seeking and then reveal that it was false.
02/06/08
I love the metaphor of us being moths! And the suspense of who was seeking what was very effective.

You may want to use quotation marks or italics to seperate the moth's thoughts and words. This would make it clearer.

I like the message of your devotional at the end. Excellent entry.