The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 670 times
Member Comments
I feel like I don't need to read any further. You touched my heart and you helped usher Christmas in for me, please keep writing and telling these stories.
What a beautiful spirit behind this story! You captured the essence of the Body -- the Church! A little sprucing up with your grammar and you've got a powerful story that needs to be shared. Christmas blessings! :)
Your descriptions of the room, inclduing the foul odors was wonderful. Others have mentioned some grammar issues. Thankfully, they have easy fixes. Loved the heart in this story. Well done.
First of all, that spread sounds delicious! I'd love to load up my plate at that party!

The only thing that threw me a little was that you didn't introduce yourself as narrator until well into the 3rd or 4th started out in 3rd person, and then the "we" came and I had to do a few mental gymnastics.

The story itself? Excellent!
Great sense of the real identity of the church. Something about the verbs made me feel outside the story rather than in the middle of it, though. Maybe it needs the immediacy that active, rather than passive, verbs bring. Great heart.